Equality issue alert> Can a Woman be the provider without looking like she’s being made a fool of?

I have known of many examples where woman have become the providers. I can name a good amount now and I see the same re occurring patterns. Either:

  1.  the men are too old for mummy’s house, they pick their girlfriends home to play house in because this makes them look good in front of their friends.
  2.  they are either passing time with that particular girl, so they keep sleepovers as a satisfactory commitment.
  3. lazy, know their girlfriends/wives/partners foot the bill, so they’ll just cruise.
  4.  The GF/W/P already knows this, but to keep the peace (and their man) accept this role, struggling to challenge any.

The belief that all men and women should be equal is something (I assume I speak for most) that most of us nowadays want.  Men can do a so called ‘woman’s job’ (except give birth) and woman can do a so called (mans jobs). Both can aspire to choose a chosen role without thinking about whether it suits their gender or not. However, in terms of homely roles at this time, it’s not uncommon to hear of the female being the provider; A role that most men take on naturally. Others such do not.

This is not to say that all men should be that way. Looking in terms of the symbolic alpha female and beta male then and the alpha male and beta female equation, it’s safe to say that one or the other can fit the bill of provider. According to the book: Act like a lady, think like a man, and in this interview:

Steve Harvey: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Author Steve Harvey

“How we demonstrate that love is what I call the three Ps of love: We profess, we provide and we

That is how a man — if he loves you — this is how you can tell he loves you: He provides for you. Whatever his economic structure is, he provides for you and he will give you whatever he can. He will profess. If you have been dating a guy for six months, he has a title for you. If after six months, he is still calling you a friend, he has no plans for you. It doesn’t take us six months to figure out if you are the one. We are just not that difficult. We are simple people.

The last P is protecting. He will let nothing happen to you within his means. A man loves in threes, if he tells you he loves you, but he doesn’t protect or provide for you, he is just telling you what you want to hear to get what he wants. He doesn’t really love you”.

This could be argued are very clichéd and inboxes men to all being the same. It could also be argued that men aren’t natural providers. They just don’t take on high paid jobs or even want a big career title.  Still, the pressure is on for them to be who they aren’t, especially that they aren’t raised by example. Some women earn more. It shouldn’t be an issue if a woman did so. If makes more sense if a lady who earns more took on more, its only common sense. Should a woman back down a role in order for her man to feel big and claim that title?

I was watching Katie Price’s show: My crazy life and I see a highly paid woman, of course with a successful career; with a husband Kieran Hayler who he claims he is a ‘house husband’, because she is the one who puts the food on the table and pays the bills.  He says he is happy with this role as he “wouldn’t have it any other way”. Aside from the fact he is a sex addict and has had three affairs with all women that have been close to Katie, it seems that this arrangement would work out finely. On the grounds that respect is in place. She can safely go to work, knowing the house and children are fully tended too. Here the dynamic works. She a multi millionaire can indeed provide. So in order for her man to feel manly, she would need to what? Exchange her career for him to be the man of the house and her to sit back and do the role of a typical housewife so he can claim the provider title? Again with respect in place. To me though, I remember once when she was in therapy on TV she did mention that without all her jewels, she does wonder if she would appeal the same to men the same way if she hadn’t had all this stuff. Hard one to answer, but I guess to a certain man, some just don’t feel embarrassed to scrounge of a woman.

“ But if you play close attention you will see that the most masculine man had the most feminine soul and the most feminine woman has the most masculine soul” Carl Jung.

It comes to call that spiritually, there are no rules for the soul. Like in the human world, we place rules on and man and woman. We each to have ticked certain qualities will fulfil our manly or womanliness.  Of course, it varies per person.

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed “and “woman are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished”. John Gray

It can be classified that these findings are too generic, much too stereotyped and very basic. But for me they work well.

Subjectively as an independent woman as much as I can take care of myself, I’d still like to give and take equally in both lanes. I long to find myself a provider, because let me skip to the good parts, I was raised by one. Better yet still, I couldn’t stand myself to go out in the world, work to my personally best and get all I can , for myself and  extend that towards my loved ones, I wouldn’t accept any less from my partner. I sense that some would claim they wouldn’t mind this arrangement but who doesn’t want to be taken care of? And yes, deep down you want the load of responsibilities lifted off your shoulder. Why do two peoples job when you shouldn’t have too? In the end you’ll end up resenting your other half, not if it’s not their fault but for the fact they weren’t trying. Enjoying the profit of a female provider as it means them not having to make effort with their share.

Over giving just allows overtaking. Respect is primary. If the roles are switched, that doesn’t mean either one shouldn’t take upon equal responsibilities as their fair share.

For more relationship advice: Visit my personal blog: www.onceuponahumanexperience.wordpress.com

1 Comment

  1. StephanieRMontgomery Reply

    Awesome article, Great, & Informative. Wonderful article you wrote. Thanks for This post. Really informative!!!

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