Going through a breakup can resemble the feeling of a loved-one passing away, and that’s because you are mourning the death of your relationship. You put time, energy and feelings into loving another person in the hope that it would last forever, and when things don’t work out you feel like you’ve lost everything, including yourself. When you are experiencing a breakup, you feel like your heart is broken into a million pieces and there is no way you can go back to feeling happy again, but as we all know, time can fix anything. The process can be long and painful, but you can shorten it by following some steps that would allow you to heal faster.
1. Cut off all contact with your ex
I know it’s hard to resist the urge to text or stalk your ex, but by doing so you only make things worse for yourself. It’s hard to get over somebody when you are constantly chatting with them or seeing pictures of them moving on with their lives (without you), so the best thing you can do is to cut them off completely. Choosing to unfollow their social media accounts should not be considered petty, instead you should see it as a way to help you move on with your life. Stop looking back, and focus on the future!
2. Take time to mourn your relationship
A breakup means losing someone you loved deeply and you hoped you would spend the rest of your life with. When you are dealing with any type of loss it is recommended to allow yourself to feel all the negative emotions in order to cleanse your soul from them. Crying won’t make you weak. It will only help you get stronger faster.
3. Get your hands on the right books
Although you feel like nobody else had ever suffered as much as you do now, you need to remember that most people have gone through breakups and felt like a sword stabbed their hearts when they knew it’s over. The best thing you can do is try to learn from others who have been in the same situation as you. There are numerous books that tackle this issue such as “It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy” by Greg and Amiira Behrendt.
4. Don’t internalise your feelings
Internalising your emotions would only make you a ticking bomb ready to explode at any time. You need to remember that even though it feels like it, you are not alone. You have friends and family who love you and would do anything to make you feel better. Talk to them, spend time with them, and allow them to help you.
5. Do not rant on social media
Ok, I know I said it’s important to not internalise your feelings but ranting on social media won’t do you any good. It would be a step back for your ‘moving forward’ process and it would only bring more negativity in your life. A better option it to have a personal journal where you can write everything you would want to say to your ex. In this way you can consume your anger in a subtle way, without becoming the gossip of the internet.
6. Do things for yourself
Remember, the only person that can make you happy is yourself so do things that you know you would enjoy and benefit from. Take warm baths to relax, go to the gym to get rid of all the negative energy, make time to go to the salon. At the end of the day, you are the only person you know for sure you would spend the rest of your life with, so love yourself.