One’s past is such an episode in a person’s life. It can simply make or break a person. Carrying them into the present moment. The bittersweet truth about it is, whether we like it or not- It weaves as a part of our story. Pretty or ugly. As the character Time revealed in Alice in Wonderlands, through the looking glass
“You cannot change the past, but you can learn something from it”
But in relationships, is it that this is really of importance? To know about a person’s timeline of where they have been and who they have been with? To know about all the ins and outs… It made me think about myself. Would I even want someone new to know all the old stuff about me? Isn’t it about who I am in this moment, rather than all the stuff left behind? It lead me to investigate, the whys and why not’s of whether it really is of importance.
- Understand character
As we all come equipped with our wounds and blessings, its best we get to know another’s. This is a form of intimacy many are afraid to endure. Laying down certain vulnerability. With this comes a whole revelation of trust. Without judgement one can be able to put down walls and let a person closely in. Showing up all scars and letting themselves be fully seen.
As I learnt from relationship expert: Harville Hendrix, when we let our partners see us fully, they can help spiritually restore us to our natural state. They can love us back to life. Childhood woes and abuse in previous relationships are also a big let in. Family history and patterns too.
- Mental health & addictions.
Interlinking this to character, I have recently re – read Life coach Lisa Nichol’s: No matter what. She revealed that she was in love with a man who seemed very polished on the outskirts. However something in her gut never sat right. So during one night the guy she was due to marry had tried to strangle her in her sleep. She later figured out by a family member that he had bipolar disorder. As her never revealed this to her himself, he was already keeping a part of his identity under the carpet. She then had a duty to take this information and decide what to do with it. Whether she wanted to work with it or not, her duty was her own self care. Not to mention, her child’s too. As this was also showing up presently, everyone needs to understand that if it effects your present and is something that you necessarily didn’t choose to be a part of you, then, like if it were ever present you had a stutter, then your mental health is something regardless if it was a has been, should still be mentioned.
Addiction on the same hand stems from mental health. Actually I would say is a mental health issue altogether. This is because usually it has been taken up because it usually does run in the family. From experience, I would like to know of any addictions that has either passed or is still in the picture. Encase it creeps in profoundly you know what you’re dealing with. It usually taints a person real character if not taken care of.
More on this on my blog: