For those of you not too familiar with the word I will allow permit the Google definition.
Nostalgia “A sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past”
Remembering the ‘good old days’ is a warming notion. Being able to race back in time to reminisce on the beauty of how good life was to us. Even for myself, being filled with the deepest feeling of it always makes me want to give up my days and go back. Sometimes I want to rearrange some things to make my story sound more interesting. I wished I was naughtier so my stories have a bit more spice. (Although there’s more than enough spices in them). But even still, the love I have for my youth only inspires me to keep my childlike self aglow.
However in discussion with my dearest friend, we also discovered how much this was a danger. I did express to her that I want to be back at that former self. It’s not because I am in misery in my present it’s vaguely because of the aliveness I once felt. You know as we pass life, there are aspects of us that we should indeed leave behind. My friend told me that it’s very dangerous an although it may “work for now but in your 30’s and 40’s we cannot be our teenage selves”.
With deep affection, I do long for the days. But I figured it’s not about the people. Not about the place. Not even for my guy back in them days. But for the free spirit girl. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to want to crave to be her. But in essence I know I can never be as free as she was because she had zero responsibility and even for herself. Why I sink into myself sometimes is because of how I behaved even with the most dangerous situations. I was a teenager and he wasn’t. Yet I was in love, I kept saying, I enjoyed that high and when that high went I sank. And I still try to find definition of who I was before I got involved with it all. Just as I was becoming, this big mental mess is just me trying to get into a good place again.